BECOMING ‘REAL’ MEN!
We live, and love, in a world that only seems to value and respect a narrow version of masculinity… one that is essentially emotionally shut down and controlling. In reality, there’s as much variation between different types of men, as there is between men and women; but only a limited kind of maleness (the ‘man box’) is deemed to be ‘normal’ or acceptable.
Forcing ourselves to fit in to an idea of ‘manhood’ isn’t ‘natural’ for most men, isn’t healthy for us, or for the people we’re close to. The good news is that increasing numbers of men are realising we can escape from this box and discover the empowerment that comes from being our true selves.
With less traditional ‘male’ jobs to be found, it’s harder for men to feel sure how to earn respect in our communities and families. Many of us are unsure what it means to ‘be a man’ and whether we’re ‘man enough’? Combined with a fear about expressing our creative (more ‘feminine’) side, it makes it hard to allow ourselves to be fully living, loving human beings who are proud of what we bring to the world, and to offer support and love to women.
And in a culture that makes it a taboo for men to show any kind of vulnerability, many of us have ambivalent feelings about intimacy, sex and love which we need to sort out before we can allow ourselves to feel loved and appreciated, and to become better partners and parents.
There aren’t a lot of good role models around. Most mainstream representations lof masculinity are incredibly limited. The titles give it away: ‘Iron Man’, ‘Man of Steel’ , ‘Rambo’, ‘Rocky’ etc. The crazy ideal seems to be..a ‘real’ man doesn’t really feel anything…except anger!
FeMANism is about men working to support each other, and acting in solidarity with women to insist on what we all want: nothing more, or less than equal rights and equal respect for everyone.
This site is intended to be a place where men can share suggestions for how to feel better and be better – lovers, friends, colleagues and human beings. Being our true selves: courageous enough to experience and express our emotions; and helping create a fairer and safer world for everyone.
Click below to subscribe to this blog, or drop me a line, and you’ll get posts (not many, I promise!) which will be relevant, interesting and possibly life changing for you – joining a worldwide community of men who are ‘living the change’. (Your email details will never be shared, of course).
Steve Garrett (Cardiff, Wales)
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